The change of seasons is inevitable, especially in Illinois! This change can evoke certain feelings in us, especially when we are experiencing grief. The Fall season that we are currently experiencing can be a strong reminder of our loss. Autumn is considered by some cultures to be the season of grief, while Summer is associated with the emotion of joy. Autumn brings with it less sunshine and shorter days as well as falling leaves and dying plants. These things can bring on sadness and even numbness as we get used to darker days and gray and brown colors rather than the vibrant greens and bright colors of the summer that just passed. The Fall season can actually mimic how we feel; we are feeling a great emptiness where we once had a fulfilling relationship.
So. What do we do with these feelings? The first things that we need to understand is that we can’t fight this anymore than we can stop the seasons from changing. We need to” feel” our grief in order to work through it. The second thing to remember is practicing good selfcare at this time. It is the perfect time of year for some warm comfortable clothes, time with friends and comforting foods. This can help to chase away the feelings of coldness and emptiness we may be experiencing. It is important to try to keep from being isolated too much. Try to see friends and family, perhaps join a group or even reach out to others by phone or Facetime. We can also look for the beauty of the season by taking walks and viewing the changing tree colors and earlier sunsets. Don’t be afraid to do something nice for yourself in the form of a warm bath, lighting candles or reading a pleasurable book. Since we find ourselves indoors more, perhaps there is a new hobby you have been wanting to try. Journaling and drawing can be very therapeutic as well.
The seasons will pass and our grief will begin to ease, but we must first allow ourselves to feel and understand our grief. Remember that trees shed their leaves in order to provide nourishment to the soil so that they can regrow beautiful green leaves in the spring. We too, can feel newness after our journey of grief.
